By Alicia Seewald (Whetstone Staff Writer)
It’s the same old story, but everyone wants to get in on it.
Boy meets girl in college, boy falls madly in love with girl and everything ends happily ever after.
“There is this belief that a girl will find her husband in college,” said Christine McDermott, coordinator of disability support at Wesley.
“Not that that is a bad thing, but you need to take your time. A lot of girls believe that they should move right into a job and a long-term relationship, and a lot of girls lose themselves in a relationship.”
However, it is just as important to let someone into your life as it is to know when. McDermott met her husband Kevin at Wesley in her freshmen orientation class.
“We were friends throughout college and I tutored him in math,” she said.
McDermott believes that honesty and respect for the other person is key to a good relationship.
“You also need to know when you need time to yourself,” she said, “and respect that other person when they need some space.”
McDermott also thinks that guys need to be sensitive and kind to their girlfriends.
Senior Crystal Cammile agrees.
“Don’t play with their feelings,” Cammile said. “Don’t be afraid to express yourself. Drop the ego.”
Cammile says it’s immature and unattractive when a man shows off.
However, some men feel the same way about women.
“When a man wants to be alone, leave him alone,” junior Jason Ruiter said. “Be yourself and don’t try too hard.”
Some students say it is important to get out of a relationship if you don’t feel like it’s going to work out.
“Follow your gut,” Ruiter said. “If you don’t like the person, let them know. Don’t be nice and not break up with them even though it’s not working.”
Mandi Wilson, a senior, disagrees. She thinks that every time she goes to a friend for advice, they tell her the same thing: to get out of the relationship if she isn’t happy.
“I hate that advice,” she said, “because I feel like if you have to work in a relationship, if you are going through a hard patch, then you should get out. But I feel like that’s what makes a relationship, that you’re both willing to go through bad as well as the good.”
Wilson has been in a relationship with her boyfriend for four and a half years.
“I think I have basic experience,” Wilson said. “I mean I’ve had my heart broken in high school and Korey (her boyfriend) and I have had our issues. I don’t think anyone is an expert because every relationship is different.”
The advice that most everyone agrees with is to be yourself.
“The best advice is pretty much for that first date,” Wilson said. “Don’t be fake. A lot of girls go get their nails done or their hair done and if you don’t really dress like that all the time you are setting up false pretences.”
McDermott said that talking to friends about your relationship may just make things worse.
“A lot of times you just need to talk it out and be yourself.”